Emotional Pain

Emotional Pain.

Hypnotherapy to help ovecome emotional painEmotional pain in many ways hurts more intensly and for longer periods than physical pain, our hypnotherapy, CBT & NLP 1 on 1 sessions and hypnotherapy downloads  will aide the greiving and healing process.

Our Watford therapy centre offers one hour sessions at £65.00 with thousands of hours of client work we are ideally suited to bring fast, lasting pain relief. Alternatively why not try one of our hypnotherapy downloads for emotional pain relief and bring releif from you current physical discomfort….

To help understand why and how we experience stress and emotional pain, it will help first of all to understand the following three principles:

First Principle
If we believe something we will act as if it is true.

Second Principle
Emotions are not our response to reality they are a response to our interpretation or beliefs about reality.

Third Principle
We are only content when we accept our present experience.
(Even if that present experience includes thoughts about the past or an imagined future).

There are two ways to apply this third principle.

We can:

a. Stop wanting our present experience to be different to what it is and be content instantly (unconditional acceptance gives unconditional contentment). Then base decisions on the information (we’ve just accepted) within the current experience.

b. Try and make everything in the world do what we want. Once everything in the world is exactly as we want it to be, we will then be able to stop wanting things to be different (conditional acceptance) and be content.

Most of us are only aware of the existence of option 2, therefore we believe we can only be content if people and events do what we want. All negative emotions have their roots in this belief.

In daily life, this tends to be played out as follows:

When we, people or events behave as we want, we are content or happy. When we, people or events don’t behave as we want, we are unhappy or discontent. This is experienced as emotional discomfort or pain. Therefore we try to control ourselves, people and events to either ‘gain’ happiness or ‘avoid’ pain.

This leads to:

All or nothing thinking, or perfectionism, where we insist that things should be a certain way or they are not acceptable (this is conditional acceptance). This arises because we seem to be punished with emotional pain (discontent) unless we, people and events are exactly as we want them to be.

This fosters the belief that only by controlling people and events, can we feel at peace. Perhaps ‘we’ even get angry with other people, because they have not behaved how they ‘should’ and ‘caused us pain’.

The happy part of this is we have it the wrong way round. Our natural state of mind is actually happiness and contentment. (As in option 3a above).

It is only our efforts to try and control everyone and every thing that causes us pain and perpetuates the illusion that our happiness is dependent on the behaviour of people or events. In fact if you were to let go (of trying to control everything) and accept yourself and life unconditionally you would fall into your natural state.

If for example a person stopped trying to control a person that was ‘making them’ angry, the anger would disappear. Better than that, they are now at peace in themselves which is the contentment they were striving for in the first place.

Realising this, you understand there is nothing to do (or force) to be happy. There is no event or person you have to control, impress (or prove yourself to) in order to be content or avoid pain. What a relief. You can be your natural contented self.

The painful penalty for not realising this can sometimes lead to people getting depressed, despondent or turning to alcohol, drugs, gambling, TV, computer games food, sex, thrill seeking and other distractions in an effort to fulfil a nagging desire for contentment or seek relief from the effort of trying to single-handedly control the entire world all the time.

Put another way when we experience emotional pain it is a signal to us that we have placed the world on our back again. However emotional pain is just a helpful reminder for us to return to sanity. In the same way that physical pain is a helpful reminder to remove our hand from a flame.

Our Watford therapy centre offers one hour sessions at £65.00 with thousands of hours of client work we are ideally suited to bring fast, lasting pain relief. Alternatively why not try one of our hypnotherapy downloads for emotional pain relief and bring releif from you current physical discomfort….

Control your emotions so you can trust them to help you

Have you ever got really worked up about something and then done or said something that you later bitterly regretted? Did you wonder what came over you? Or why you couldn’t control your emotions? Have you noticed that this sort of situation is more likely to occur with certain kinds of emotions, such as anger, or jealousy? Have you begun to worry about how often it happens?

Understanding emotions and emotional control

Everybody has emotions. Emotions are chemical signals fired off by your nervous system in response to what’s going on around you. They let you know how you feel about things – happy, angry, sad, excited, jealous. Whatever it is. And they don’t lie. These instant, instinctive responses of your body to the world are always truthful. But not always right!

The evolution and purpose of emotions – keeping you safe

Why have we evolved emotional responses? Well, the flow of these chemicals through your body, triggered by events and situations around you, gets you doing something. You’ll notice that the word ’emotion’ contains the word ‘motion’, that is, movement. Emotions are there to induce action.

Basic survival depends on being able to recognise and respond to a threat. If our lives are threatened, we need to fight, or run away. This is our most fundamental emotional response – our ‘fight or flight’ mechanism. It sends a rush of adrenaline around the body, raises your heart rate, stops your digestion, makes your palms sweat. It’s quite uncomfortable, but very effective – in the right circumstances.

Too much emotion overwhelms your judgement

Emotional arousal, in pursuit of its goal of getting you into action, also has an apparently counter-productive effect. If the level of arousal goes beyond a certain point, you literally can’t think straight. The neo-cortex (basically, the part of your brain responsible for rational thinking), is a relatively new development in human evolution. The amygdale, which is the driver of emotional responses, is much ‘older’.

In a crisis situation, when the amygdale identifies a ‘threat’ and triggers an emotional response, it will cut off the neo-cortex and operate at a purely emotional level. In this state, you will see everything in very black-and-white, all-or-nothing terms. You will be absolutely certain of the ‘rightness’ of your position, and nobody attempting to ‘reason’ with you will get anywhere. Sound familiar?

Why the neo-cortex gets sidelined by emotion

At first sight, it’s a puzzle why our inbuilt defence mechanism shuts down thinking capacity in a crisis. Surely this is when we need it most? But in the primitive life or death situations in which this mechanism evolved, ‘thinking about things’ would not be very useful. Snap decisions and instant action are what is called for.

So if the amygdale senses a threat to life, it shuts down all other processes (appetite, digestion, sex drive, immune system – and thinking) and focuses on immediate survival.

Primitive emotional responses don’t match the times

And now you’re wondering what’s the matter with your amygdale. Nobody is threatening your life, are they? (I hope!) The good news is that your amygdale is functioning just as it should. But the world in which it is functioning is now very different. There may not be a sabre-toothed tiger waiting to pounce on you, but if your boss is about to haul you over the coals, you may feel just like your ancestor suddenly seeing the tiger.

What’s happening is that your amygdale is responding to the sense of threat. It’s a primitive mechanism, and can’t distinguish one type of threat from another. It’s just threat. To distinguish between threats, and respond appropriately, you need your neo-cortex, with its reasoning powers.

But how do you prevent your neo-cortex from being put out of action by emotion?

How to put your neo-cortex in control of your emotions

Emotions are a very valuable part of being human, and enrich our lives immensely. Without them, we would be dull robots indeed. But they can run away with us unless we learn to keep them in check. A happy balance between reason and emotion can be struck by learning how to calm down emotional arousal. This allows you to have your feelings and still be able to think clearly.

Using hypnosis to create a new ‘template’ for controlling emotion

Hypnotic relaxation is your fastest route to calming down all kinds of emotional arousal. Control your emotions will allow you to experience and master the art of deep relaxation – which will automatically reduce arousal.

Control your emotions gives you the tools you need to become the ‘master of your ship’ – able to access all the drive and energy you need to take action, but also able to determine just what action is really appropriate calmly and objectively. You will build up a new instinctive template for response to crisis and challenge which makes the best use of your emotional responses.

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[notice]Our Watford therapy centre offers one hour sessions at £65.00 with thousands of hours of client work we are ideally suited to bring fast, lasting pain relief. Alternatively why not try one of our hypnotherapy downloads for emotional pain relief and bring relief from you current physical discomfort….

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Want To Know More?

At The Watford & District Hypnotherapy Centre We offer private therapy sessions Monday to Friday between 10:00 and 20:00 and Saturday mornings between 10:00 and 13:00 at which we can discuss and develop a bespoke program to help identify and achieve your sporting goals.

Sessions are on average 60 minutes in length and cost is £65.00.Specific number of sessions required is hard if not impossible to state as it is a very individual set of circumstances and responses that bring about the various challenges, we offer a free of charge no obligation initial assesment at which we should be able to assess likely number of sessions required.

For more details or to book your free initial consultation, call 01923 728 786 or contact us through the contact box below:

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